“If I put my mind to it, I could run this thing”

Frustration flows freely in many of my coaching sessions with clients. Sometimes they’re frustrated with me. That’s a good thing, always, it means I touched the raw spot so we know where to focus. But more often than not, my clients are frustrated with themselves.

'If I was serious, I could run this company'

'I could make better decisions than this lot'

'I really don’t understand why they won’t listen '

'I have to repeat the same thing five times - and even then sometimes they say no'

This sounds powerful. But it’s a victim stance in disguise.

Because it also sounds like:

'I can’t be bothered '

'I feel good being so much better than them obviously'

'I don’t really know if I want to do this thing, but I also can’t decide not to, so I’ll stay here on the sides and critique everything other people do'

'No matter how loud I shout, people don’t hear me, so they must be stupid, and I am wasting my time'

These are all ways in which you don’t take responsibility. Taking responsibility might look like:

Deciding whether you want to run this thing, throwing your hat in the ring, exposing yourself to a possible rejection, or the success, responsibility and stress of running the company

Accepting that your decisions may be different, but that does not necessarily mean they are the ‘better’ ones. Decisions are not inherently right or wrong, they are made that way through the actions we take.

Taking responsibility for making yourself heard and understood. What do people need from you? Can you give them that?

If you put your mind to it, you could definitely run this thing.

So put your mind to it. Or don’t. Take a stance already, we all want to see you shine.