How to be uncomfortable - and get what you want

I have a prompt I use every day. It goes like this:

Today, what 1 action BOTH exposes me to failure/rejection/discomfort/ embarrassment/judgement AND moves me closer to my desired result?

It’s a prompt that makes me wonder: what am I avoiding? What am I not doing because I don’t want to feel bad? How am I avoiding discomfort?

It took me a very long time to understand this. I’d hear and read that you’re not growing unless you’re uncomfortable. How you’re supposed to leave your comfort zone if you want to achieve things/goals/dreams. 

Conceptually it’s easy to understand. But what does it mean in practice? 

How do you know you’re uncomfortable but on the right path, at the right pace, on the way to your goals and dreams? As opposed to bullying yourself, pushing yourself too hard, removing boundaries, pleasing others, being less and less of yourself, while you’re searching for the path to your dream?

Uncomfortable can feel different on different days.

For me, some days it feels uncomfortable to write to you. Some days it feels like writing love letters to someone who doesn’t reciprocate. But my job is not to expect anything; rather to be of service and to be love, endlessly, without expectation. 

Some days it feels uncomfortable going to networking events. It’s easier to take my makeup off (or not put it on at all), pour a glass of wine and watch Netflix, than it is to remind myself that someone out there needs me and they need to know I exist. That I may be the only person listening and actually hearing them that day. That even though it’s a networking event, my physical presence might be soothing to someone. And all that discomfort adds infinitely more value to the world than me watching Netflix in sweatpants.

Some days I get judged for the content I create, or someone cancels a call and that feels like rejection. But my job is not to prevent anything that might make me feel judged or rejected. My job is to actively do things that might get me judged and rejected so I can become visible to the people who need me, who welcome my presence and accept love and support.

Being uncomfortable can feel like posting three times on LinkedIn despite just seeing the number of my followers go down from the previous day. Being uncomfortable means not paying attention to numbers, but rather thinking of the one person who might be helped by what I post, even if it’s the third time that day.

Discomfort means staying in action even when you don’t feel like it. Taking action despite feeling bad. Because the only thing between you and what you want is your willingness to feel bad and take action anyway. 

What does being uncomfortable mean to you?

As for the difference between being uncomfortable and taking action anyway vs. bullying and pushing yourself…ask yourself this: what are taking action for?

Are you taking action so you get closer to your goal despite risking judgement, embarrassment, shame, and discomfort?

Or are you taking action SO THAT other people don’t judge you, you don’t feel embarrassment, shame, discomfort?

Are you taking action despite feeling bad, or to prevent feeling bad?

Only one will take you to the results you so desire.

You can walk that path with my support. I'll show you how to reframe discomfort, embarrassment, shame, rejection and continue moving ahead unabashed until you get exactly what you want. Get in touch using the Contact form on the website and let's talk.

Love,

Monica