My work focuses on helping people achieve their goals. And I’ve been doing this for long enough to notice a huge difference in people’s ability to achieve goals. It’s not that some people are better than others - far from it.
The difference lies in the goals they set.
Most people have something missing, something they think is wrong, and set goals to fix that.
There is something about themselves or their situation they dislike and they think setting a goal - and hopefully achieving it, will help them feel better about themselves.
Say you set a goal to get your dream job this week or win a new client this week. If I asked you why, you might say: "because then I’ll feel really successful and that I know what I am doing. So a new job, or a new client would give me permission to feel successful. "
When you come from that place you’re basically saying: “I am not successful right now but a new job or client would sort that out”.
You feel deficient somehow, not quite good enough, and you think that as soon as you reach the goal you will feel validated and recognised.
You may feel that, but only temporarily. And you will certainly feel a lot worse if you don’t achieve your goal.
Even if you do, after a while your familiar inner critic will start talking again in the background, telling you that you’re not good enough and you need another goal to feel better.
A never ending cycle.
So what I have my clients do is reframe their goals so they come from love and power.
It could be the same goal, but framed like this:
"I want to get a new job or a new client this week. I am already brilliant and I achieved a lot, I am brave and determined; and I am curious what it’d be like to experience the kind of growth and risk and good fear that comes from making such a powerful request of the Universe (or my boss:) I can’t wait to be that person who is bold and goes for what they want."
This is a goal that comes from self-love and self belief. Imagine what actions you take from this place. What requests and promises you can make from this place. How superior the fuel that will feed your actions! How amazing you will feel being brave and growing and taking powerful steps.
This is the work. It’s not about keeping you accountable for meditating, eating your vegetables, or applying for 100 jobs a day.
It's about helping you frame your goals in a way that makes it obvious, necessary and motivating to do what needs to be done (which may include meditating, eating your vegetables and networking).
Love,
Monica
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