I’ve yet to meet a person who says: I spend my time just right.
If we imagine time on a spectrum, most people complain either of having too little time or having too much. In both cases, they feel like shit: either harassed by others and life in general, or like time wasters who would be very successful if only they could find out exactly what they need to do at any given moment.
Yet time is hardly ever the issue. Time itself is a neutral construct but because we consider it finite, we blame it for our inability to do everything we want to do.
In reality, our challenge is not time but the things we choose to do. The reason this is a challenge is because it would mean making some decisions that feel confronting.
Here’s a tool you may find helpful:
Take a piece of paper and create two columns.
1. Things, people, and places that fill you with energy
2. Things, people, and places that drain you of energy
Start filling in the columns. What do you notice?
One of your many thoughts will likely be “but I can’t stop doing that, even if I know it drains me of energy”. This is what I mean about decisions that feel confronting. In fact, it’s not even a decision you make, it’s something you think by default.
Maybe you feel drained of energy having to spend all your evenings doing homework with the kids. Or maybe calling your parents every evening for an hour is what drains you. So the idea of not doing it makes you feel guilty. Therefore your brain doesn’t even allow you to consider it an option. Time is not your challenge - guilt is.
You’ll get value out of doing that exercise even if it’s just for awareness. If you’re not aware, you may feel at the mercy of time and completely disempowered. But if you become aware of what you spend your time on, you may even find there are easy decisions to be made in order to create more time.
Focus on what fills you with energy - even if they take more time, you will feel satisfied and content with how you’re spending your time.
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